Ace Attorney Mad Libs
by Peoplepersonsof DooM
Summary: "While a Daryan's typical meal would normally consist of a seal, a sea Ema, or a guitar, Daryans have been known, on occasion, to attack humans. " What happens when you mix Mad Libs and Ace Attorney? Silly crack drabbles.
1. How to Fend Off a Shark

_AN: Nothing special here, just decided to post these old Mad Libs I did for the lulz. I do not own Mad Libs nor Ace Attorney!_

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While a Daryan's typical meal would normally consist of a seal, a sea Ema, or a guitar, Daryans have been known, on occasion, to attack humans. Approximately 69 people each year are the victims of Daryan attacks. Most often, people are attacked while sexting in booze near Seaworld. To avoid Daryan attacks:

1) Never wear spicy jewelry or a metallic skin tight pants while swimming. A Daryan may think you're a Klavier.

2) Avoid swimming at dusk. This is a Daryans natural fucking time.

3) Never go swimming if you are bleeding. A Daryan can smell blood from 13 miles away. If you are attacked by a Daryan, hit back - particularly in the Daryan's penis and balls. Though a Daryan attack is a scary prospect, remember you are 3 times more likely to get stripped by an Apollo.


	2. Your Gift

_AN: I think I'll try to do one Mad Lib a day for your amusement and my own lol..._

 _A-nervous-fan: Haha I think as soon as I read the title before putting the words in, kept thinking Daryan xD. Send snackoo baits to lure sea Emas away to the shoreline. And then distract Daryans with sea Machis. Hahaha he'd be pretty pissed..._

 _NNinja: Thank you! I'm glad you think it's funny :D!_

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Dear Klavier,

I had such a difficult time picking out a Valentine's Day cock ring for you. First, I thought a bouquet of Emas would be just right, but then I remembered that you're bootylicious. I didn't want to make you jizz. Then I saw a cute stuffed Phoenix that you could squeeze and call Kristoph, but you're too sexy for that sort of thing. I almost bought you a bottle of the new perfume by Will Powers, but when I sprayed a little on my finger, I almost passed out. It smelled like rotten snackoos! Finally, I found a really creepy gift for you- a digital Jean Armstrong. Unfortunately, it cost an arm and a hog, so you'll just have to settle for this glimmerous card. I hope that every time you read it you think of me, your old guitar!

Hugs, kisses, and pianos,

Apollo


	3. Friendly Valentine

Dear Gregory Edgeworth,

I know Valentine's Day is usually for dogs and Steel Samurai fanboys, but it's also a time to celebrate friendship. So I'm sending you this dastardly card just to say: "I'm glad you're my toy." I enjoy the sickly time we spend together. Especially ice-punching, playing video defense attorneys on your fake TV, and riding rickshaws around the block on the weekends. But, most of all, I enjoy our fiery sleepovers when we stay up late watching old finger points, eating late night pornos, and sharing our innermost vaginas. Anyway, have a sparkly Valentine's Day today. I hope we stay best lawyers for the rest of our miserable lives!

Keep it salty,

Manfred von Karma


	4. The Day We Met

Dear Apollo,

I remember the first time I laid horns on you. You were seated at a noodle in the cafeteria, eating a bracelet-butter and jelly sandwich. The first thing I noticed was the way your forehead shone in the sunlight. It was poop at first sight. I carried my pencil over to your table, trying not to spill my cup of tequilla, and asked, "May I sleep with you?" You smiled up at me, your eyes sparkling like dolphins, and said, "Pull up a chords of steel." I was so excited that I spilled my drink all over your junk. I cried out, "Oh, baby!" Thank goodness you were so funny about it. If you weren't, I'm sure we'd be celebrating this Valentine's Day with other lawyers!

Sweets and nail polishes,

Vera


	5. What to Get People For Christmas

_AN: yankeegal13: Glad you think so! Do it ! All I do is use bases from generators online or old Mad Libs books I have. It's easy and fun lol._

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One of the sassy things about Christmas is being able to pick out creamy presents to give to your Gumshoes and relatives. But it's a problem because you don't want to give someone a Kristoph when they really wanted a Klavier. Here are some spicy gift ideas. I bet your mother would like a new electric Drew Misham she could use to fuck vegetables or clean the cat in the kitchen. If your father likes to spit, he could use a new set of lawyers. Or a red all-wool Jammin' Ninja thong while he is playing guitar. If you want to get Trucy a present, she needs a sports speedo designed by Zak Gramarye. And Phoenix needs some bikes to keep his pointer finger warm. But no matter what you give, remember it is the badge behind the gift that counts.


	6. Dear Valentine

Dear Feenie,

If you want to be my valentine, here's what you must do.

1\. When we see each other in the hallway, say, "dinglehopper!"

2\. Be fruity to my little boytoy.

3\. When we're on different cheer-ball teams, you have to let me far.

4\. Tell your friends I'm the nicest bitch you've ever met.

5\. Sit with me at lunch. But don't talk with necklaces in your mouth or eat with your ear.

6\. Whenever there's a school dance, you have to be my fannypack. And try to act ridiculous - don't spill punch all over your troll or trip over your fingers.

These are the rules. If you agree, sign below so I know you unflinchingly mean it.

Hugs and Irises,

Dahlia Hawthorne


	7. How to Wrap a Present

yankeegal13: Hahaha that could be great. I love crack so seeing prompts like these fleshed out would be fun. I agree, maybe one of these days someone will. Maybe I will given I have time and ideas lol.

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Before you start to wrap your Christmas present, make sure you have plenty of cute paper and lots of little Edgeworths to stick on the package. If you are wrapping something agreeable such as a law system, it is best to tape a penis around any parts that might fart. Then take brown wrapping Oldbag and wrap it very carefully. Take care that there is not a samurai spear poking out anywhere. Now take the expensive turquoise paper you bought at the table and make a sassy package. Finally, put stickers on that say, "Do not slap until Christmas" and put it under the tree with all of the other crappy teas. Then Christmas morning, when you see all of you jiggly relatives opening their packages and saying, "JESUS CHRIST!" you will feel positively smoky.


	8. Christmas Dinner

Everyone likes to have an aggressive dinner on Christmas Day. Most people have a huge roast parrot stuffed with lobster dressing and served with mashed Yanni Yogis and plenty of hot brown piss. However, if you would rather have an adolescent turkey, here is how you should object it. First, make the dressing of old, dried Red White crumbs. Then, put the dressing in the turkey's pinky toe. Put it in a big box and brush it with bossy butter. Next, heat your Godot to 77 degrees. Put the turkey in and cook it very sexily for five hours. When you put it on the table, the burly aroma will make everyone smack their Jean Armstrongs and say, "Oui!"


	9. New Year's Resolutions

AN: Last chapter! This was just a short lil' side experiment, but it would be fun if someone out there wanted to expand upon any of these madlibs. If so, let me know cause I'd love to see it ! Thanks for checking this out!

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I resolve that in the next year I will eat all of my burgers, just like my mother says. I promise to help bathe my pet Gumshoe and help fight the dishes after dinner. I will not eat any Eldoon's Noodles that contains cholesterol or Mayas. I will be polite and thoughtful and will clear the Athenas after meals. I will do an awful deed every day. I will be polite to any prosecutors who are older than I am. And I will never, never slurp Missile's tail or pour whiskey on Shoe. I will also try to brush my fingers and shine my panties every day. I promise to be really smelly so I can live sadly for the next 12 months. Then I'll be a truly happy and dashing person.


End file.
